Being 'Intelligently Selfish' & Tonglen
David Oromith · 29 minutes · recorded May 9, 2023
In the tonglen practice of sending and receiving we breathe in a loved one's pain as dark smoke that dissolves at a point of light in the heart, then breathe out comfort and good qualities in return, before extending the same practice to crowds of strangers and the wider world. David explains the Dalai Lama's idea of intelligent selfishness, that working for others' welfare is what actually brings happiness, and describes using tonglen in the face of grief, illness and everyday conflict.
“If you would like to be selfish, you should do it in a very intelligent way. The stupid way to be selfish is … seeking happiness for ourselves alone. … the intelligent way to be selfish is to work for the welfare of others.”
Anger and aversion Grief and loss Illness and pain Work and daily life Tonglen