Transform Your Mind: Buddhist Mind Training
Week 2: When We Don’t Get What We Want - Transforming Disappointment (9 March 2023)
David Oromith · 72 minutes · recorded March 10, 2023
The session opens and closes with a guided practice in which we settle awareness into the body, then count breaths at the nostrils in a breathing meditation. David looks at why we suffer when we cannot get what we want, tracing it to attachment's habit of exaggerating what a thing will give us. He tells the story of the nun who ended up needing a cow, and offers non-attachment, contentment and gratitude as the antidote. Questions range from technology frustrations to attachment versus ordinary worry.
We transform negative circumstances into positive ones through improving our attitudes toward them. One way we can transform disappointment and unhappiness when attachment doesn't get what it wants is: Pause when we feel reactive (take a deep breath, take ourselves away from a situation, become aware of our breathing, etc) Recognise the real causes of our unhappiness and disappointment, which are our expectations, stories and ‘need‘ for things to be our way. These expectations and stories are driven by attachment and craving. Reframe our attitude. We can do this by reminding ourselves of what is reality, behind our stories and expectations. Explore causes and conditions, impermanence, and understanding by taking a step back and viewing the situation from different angles. When we don’t take the situation so personally, and recognise it is not the end of the world, we can feel greater balance in the situation. We can also remind ourselves what the true causes of wellbeing and happiness are – that we can be happy with or without this situation, item or person going the way we want it to. In summary: stop the drama! The free talk The True Meaning of Non-Attachment and How It Sets Us Free goes further into this.
Anxiety and fear Attachment and craving Gratitude and appreciation Habits and change Motivation and intention Lojong (mind training)