Transform Your Mind: Buddhist Mind Training
Week 4: When We’re Blamed or Harmed - Transforming Self-Cherishing (23 March 2023)
David Oromith · 74 minutes · recorded March 23, 2023
This closing session opens with a practice of resting in open, non-reactive awareness of body, sight and sound, before David turns to self-cherishing, the habitual sense that my comfort and my losses matter more than anyone else's. He traces it through everyday scenes, a parking space, the last loaf of bread, and sets out equalising self and others as the corrective, citing Shantideva on cherishing others. Questions cover recognising ego in colleagues and guarding against burnout.
“If the self-cherishing thought, the ego, is strong, then the attachment clinging to this life also becomes very strong. The stronger the attachment is, the easier anger arises,” Lama Zopa Rinpoche Self-cherishing or ego-cherishing leads us to prioritising our own wellbeing and happiness alone, and neglecting that of others, but as Shantideva says 'wishing for one's own happiness alone' creates such turmoil, heartache and pain in our life, whereas 'wishing for the happiness of others' brings great joy, meaning and allows us to be less uptight. When we think of our happiness alone, even a small thing such as people talking or children playing when we want quiet becomes a big drama - despite it being such a small inconvenience. When we think of the happiness of others and take delight in their enjoyment, then it is easier for us to forbear minor inconveniences because self-centred thoughts don't have their grip on us - i.e. we're not the centre of the universe and it's not all about us! Investigate this for ourselves and check: when you're feeling unhappy, who or what is the focus of your attention? Can your perspective include the wellbeing or suffering of others, and if so, how would this change your experience? Try it!
Anger and aversion Anxiety and fear Attachment and craving Comparison and self-cherishing Habits and change Stress and burnout Compassion (karuna) Lojong (mind training) Shantideva