Grief and loss

13 teachings in the library are about this.

D3S3 - Questions on Perfectionism, Judgement and Grief David Oromith · 57 minutes · recorded August 9, 2026
A few minutes of stillness and the breath open the evening, then David works through the questions. He covers how to reconcile a powerful psychedelic experience with practice, why a glimpse of something profound fades without stability of mind, perfectionism and judgement, and what happens when we keep offering love and get none back. Later ones cover limiting how much world news we take in, the RAIN tool for waves of grief, and encouraging a partner by our own example.
D2S3 - Questions, and Whether Our Habits Really Change David Oromith · 59 minutes · recorded August 8, 2026
The evening opens with a few minutes of settling in the body and the breath, then David works through questions from the room and from online. He talks about whether effort really does change our habits day by day, and about phrases like "so what, who cares, no big deal" and "it happens" for small irritations. Later ones cover sounds that pull the attention away, grief after a family death, feeling unworthy of receiving generosity, and where giving to our own detriment starts.
Session Three - Meeting the Emotion, and a Renewed Intention David Oromith · 65 minutes · recorded August 7, 2025
Continuing from the previous session, David guides a practice of simply being with an emotion rather than observing or fixing it, drawing on Tsoknyi Rinpoche's handshake practice, resting attention with whatever feeling is present. The talk covers regret as an alternative to guilt and shame, the four opponent powers, and anger's three forms, outward, inward and passive. He answers questions on internalised anger, pausing during conflict and grief, and closes reading Mary Oliver's Wild Geese.
Being of Benefit: Aspiring Bodhisattvas in a Complex World (Part One) David Oromith · 81 minutes · recorded May 1, 2025
The first of two sessions opens with a twenty minute guided meditation from Lama Rod Owens in which we attend to sensations of earth, air, water and fire in the body before extending that awareness to the natural world. David sets out the bodhisattva's aspiration to benefit all beings, drawing on the Buddha's own example and the Dalai Lama's idea of universal responsibility. Questions range across grief at ecological crisis to a member's own difficult family situation.
Session 5 - Equanimity David Oromith · 86 minutes · recorded October 15, 2024
The teaching turns to equanimity, upekka, the balance underlying loving kindness, compassion and joy. David distinguishes it from flat indifference, drawing on Sharon Salzberg's story of relating differently to knee pain, and explains why acceptance means acknowledging what is, not condoning it. Questions bring stories of grief for a missed friendship and a man at peace with terminal illness. In the meditation we extend loving kindness equally to a loved one, a stranger and someone difficult.
Session 3 - Compassion David Oromith · 85 minutes · recorded September 24, 2024
In compassion practice we move from ourselves through a suffering acquaintance, a loved one, a stranger and finally someone acting cruelly, wishing each free of suffering and its causes. David distinguishes compassion from its near enemies, grief and pity, describing how despair once fed his own depression working in mental health wards, and why compassion stays active rather than overwhelmed. Members discuss compassion fatigue, burnout and caring for an ageing parent.
The Antidotes to Attachment and Navigating Loss David Oromith · 88 minutes · recorded April 17, 2024
The session opens with a short guided meditation in which we settle body, speech and mind, with refuge and bodhicitta. David completes his look at antidotes to attachment: non-attachment, contentment, gratitude and generosity, using the image of a bird resting on an open palm. He turns to loss, telling the story of Kisa Gotami and the mustard seed, and separates the cognitive work of understanding impermanence from the compassion grief itself needs. Questions bring up chronic illness, bipolar and the loss of a parent.
Exploring Attachment David Oromith · 72 minutes · recorded April 9, 2024
A short settling meditation on the breath with refuge and bodhicitta, before David defines attachment: how it exaggerates an object's appeal, filters out its downsides and grasps to acquire or keep it. He traces its reach into possessions, appearance and relationships, and tells the story of the nun and the cat, showing how one small wish can spiral into an elaborate life. Discussion covers attachment versus need, jealousy and grief, including whether loving someone means being attached to them.
Being 'Intelligently Selfish' & Tonglen David Oromith · 29 minutes · recorded May 9, 2023
In the tonglen practice of sending and receiving we breathe in a loved one's pain as dark smoke that dissolves at a point of light in the heart, then breathe out comfort and good qualities in return, before extending the same practice to crowds of strangers and the wider world. David explains the Dalai Lama's idea of intelligent selfishness, that working for others' welfare is what actually brings happiness, and describes using tonglen in the face of grief, illness and everyday conflict.
In Conversation with Joanne Cacciatore: Bearing The Unbearable - Grief & Loss David Oromith · Joanne Cacciatore · 60 minutes · recorded July 7, 2022
In this episode of The Samadhi Podcast, David is joined by Dr Joanne Cacciatore, an expert and acclaimed public speaker on grief and traumatic death.
D2S3 - Mental Afflictions, and Whether You Need a Guru Lama Alan · Eva Natanya · 92 minutes · recorded January 1, 2020
In the vipashyana practice on the mind itself we count the breath to ten, then watch what disturbs the mind's equilibrium, asking whether any mental event is stable, satisfying or yours. Answering questions afterwards, Lama Alan repeats the Dalai Lama's answer on needing a guru: no, but it can save you a lot of time. Eva Natanya adds Gregory of Sinai's warning against practising without a spiritual father. Grief at a child's death, Lama Alan says, is a symptom and not a mental affliction.
Guided Meditation - Compassion, Beginning with Your Own Suffering Lama Alan · 26 minutes
Compassion is the heartfelt wish to be free of suffering and its causes, and Lama Alan Wallace begins with your own. You weigh how much mental suffering you have already borne and how little control you have over circumstances, then imagine freedom as an orb of white light at the heart. With each in-breath you draw in the darkness of past and future suffering and dissolve it there. You then do the same for others, closing in simple awareness.
A House of Pain: Coping and Support after Catastrophic Loss Joanne Cacciatore · 82 minutes
Joanne Cacciatore sets out what catastrophic loss does to the whole self, and Vanessa Juth's finding that social constraints predicted poorer psychological and physical health. She tracks the bereavement exclusion shrinking then vanishing across the DSM, and her own study where 42% of bereaved parents could have met prolonged grief disorder criteria a decade on. She reports what grievers name as good support, pets and animals outranking every human group, and her case that the system needs changing, not grievers.

Grief and loss

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