Practice Library

Self-compassion

3 teachings in the library are about this.

• Session Three - A Letter from a Loving Friend David Oromith · 45 minutes · recorded September 26, 2026

  David leads a writing exercise drawn from Kristin Neff's research. We write about something we do not like in ourselves, then a letter to ourselves from an unconditionally loving friend, and read it back as if it had just arrived. After reflections from the group, David answers a question on resentment with the RAIN practice and work on the beliefs beneath it. It closes with Tonglen: we draw our suffering in as dark smoke to a white light at the heart, then widen out to the room and the world.

• Session Two - Self-Compassion and Buddha Nature David Oromith · 72 minutes · recorded September 26, 2026

  David sets out Kristin Neff's three elements of self-compassion, self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness, and explains why self-criticism puts us under attack and shuts down learning. He talks about the Buddha's three kinds of conceit, better than, same as and worse than, and why feeling the worst is still self-cherishing. Against the critic he sets Buddha nature: nothing is missing, only obscured. The loving kindness practice, for ourselves and a loved one, closes on "I have worth".

• Session One - The Inner Critic, Guilt and Regret David Oromith · 75 minutes · recorded September 26, 2026

  David talks about the inner critic, which holds us to standards we would never set for anyone else and often hides behind perfectionism or never being able to rest. He explains why guilt and shame are about the actor, not the action, while with regret we see the mistake and resolve to do things differently. In the loving kindness practice, drawn from Sharon Salzberg, we recall a kind thing we have done, a quality we admire in ourselves, and what someone who loves us would say.

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• Anger and aversion 140
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• Depression and low mood 32
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• Comparison and self-cherishing 28
• Guilt and regret 28
• Self-criticism and shame 27
• Work and daily life 27
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• Lineage and tradition 23
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• The four thoughts that turn the mind 14
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• The eight worldly concerns 11
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• Not-self (anatta) 8
• The six perfections (paramitas) 8
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• The sixfold matrix of mental balance 4
• Secular mindfulness 3
• Symbolism and iconography 3
• Introspection and self-monitoring 1
• Spiritual materialism and bypassing 1
• The three marks of existence 1