Handling Stress: Insights from Buddhist Teachings
Understanding and managing stress requires a blend of self-awareness and practical strategies. Drawing from the wisdom shared in episode 39 of The Samadhi Podcast, let’s take a quick look at some of these techniques.
Understanding the Internal Origins of Stress
Recognising that stress often originates from within is a critical first step. External situations act as catalysts, but it’s our mental reaction—our tendency to exaggerate and create narratives around these triggers—that intensifies stress. As David says, “Instinctively, when we’re stressed, we think it’s the manager, the job, the enemy, the traffic, the situation. It’s that external thing that’s causing me the stress. But this is merely a trigger or what I like to think of as the spark. Because not everybody gets stressed at the manager, the job, the traffic and so on, so it can’t purely be about the external situation, otherwise everybody would respond in the same way.”
By acknowledging this, we shift our focus from changing uncontrollable external circumstances to altering our internal responses. This understanding aligns with Buddhist teachings, where the mind is seen as the primary creator of our experiences. Mindfulness practice can be particularly effective here, helping us observe our thoughts and reactions without getting caught up in them.
Embrace Acceptance
When faced with an unchangeable situation, acceptance is a powerful tool. This approach involves letting go of the desire for things to be different and instead, embracing them as they are. This is particularly helpful when there is nothing we can do externally. As David says, “Then, what other response is there?” The wisdom of Shantideva, revered Buddhist master, illuminates this point: “If there’s something you can do about a problem, why worry? And if there’s nothing you can do, worrying won’t help.” This pragmatic stance encourages us to focus our energy where it can actually make a difference.
"If a problem can be solved,
What reason is there to be upset?
If there is no possible solution,
What use is there in being sad?"
Gain a Broader Perspective
Stressful situations are rarely as personal as they seem. They’re often the culmination of various factors and circumstances beyond any one individual’s control. By understanding this, we can detach ourselves from a narrow, self-centred viewpoint and see the bigger picture. This broader perspective is a cornerstone of Buddhist philosophy, which emphasises interdependence and the interconnected nature of all things.
Contemplate Impermanence
The impermanent nature of life implies that no situation, no matter how stressful, is permanent. This understanding can be a source of comfort during difficult times. As David says, “This difficult situation which you’re finding stressful right now is not only compounded by these ideas of ‘it’s not fair’, ‘it shouldn’t happen’, but we see it as some big static, horrible thing in our lives and we don’t recognise that – like all problems and all challenges we’ve been through – it’s impermanent and it will pass over time.”
Reflecting on impermanence also teaches us to appreciate the present moment, enhancing our ability to live fully and engage with life, despite its ups and downs.
Develop Compassion
Compassion, both for ourselves and others, is a powerful antidote to stress. It involves understanding that everyone is doing their best within their own set of challenges and limitations. “Why do people do what they do? Why do people create stress for you? Why do they act in ways that bring out stress and frustration in you? What could lead somebody to act in such a way that causes harm to others, and then not seem to care about it?” David encourages us to think about these questions. “Well, they’re following after their delusions, following after their mental afflictions, they too are being deluded by their mental afflictions like attachment, like aversion.”
In cultivating compassion, we recognise that others’ actions are often driven by their own suffering. This insight helps us understand challenging behaviour, not so that we can excuse it or allow it to happen, but to enable us to respond with empathy, reducing conflict and promoting harmony.
Reframe Your View
Reframing involves changing our perspective on stressful situations, seeing them not as obstacles but as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in mindset can transform our experience of stress. As David notes from his own personal experience, “Being evicted, for example, can be seen as a scary time – losing your home – or it can be seen as an adventure, an opportunity to live somewhere new.”
This is what in psychology we call cognitive reframing, and includes techniques such as what we find in the lojong (mind-training) teachings. It involves consciously choosing to view situations differently. This mental shift can turn perceived threats into opportunities for personal growth, changing our entire experience of stress. Cognitive reframing is about finding genuine value and learning in every situation, a key practice for dealing with difficult situations.
"Being evicted can be seen as a scary time - losing your home - or it can be seen as an adventure, an opportunity to live somewhere new."
Practice Restraint in Action and Speech
In moments of stress, it’s important to control our immediate reactions. This restraint prevents us from exacerbating the situation and allows us to respond in a more thoughtful, beneficial manner. This practice aligns with the Buddhist principle of ‘right speech’ and ‘right action’, emphasising the importance of mindful, ethical conduct.
This is also about cultivating mindfulness in our responses during stressful situations. Mindfulness helps us pause and assess our immediate reactions, giving us the space to choose responses that are more constructive and less driven by the heat of the moment. This mindful approach can lead to more effective communication and reduce the likelihood of escalating tensions, allowing for a more balanced and considered interaction in challenging circumstances.
This blog post is adapted from the transcript of episode 39 of The Samadhi Podcast, ‘Dealing with Stressful Situations.’. For more in-depth exploration and resources on meditation and mindfulness, join us for our live meditation sessions or enjoy our many free resources on the Samadhi website.
